It’s July, which means many of us parents are hearing that all too familiar complaint from our kids, “I’m bored.”
While we tend to want to shake our heads and groan at the uttering of this typical tween/teen phrase, we should actually consider it an opportunity to connect. Next time you hear it, try this (you’ll take them by surprise):
“You know, I’m bored too. Let’s go grab some ice cream .“
Of course you can’t always just drop what you’re doing, but sometimes you can and sometimes you should. If your schedule permits, try taking a day off work, put social commitments on hold, forget the laundry that needs folded and lawn that needs mowed and set aside a full day to be present with your child.
Family experts say that the most well-adjusted children, and those less likely to fall to negative peer pressure (like alcohol and other drug use), are the ones whose parents are warm and supportive, moderate on discipline and expectations of maturity and high in communication.
Knowing this, we should take full advantage of any opportunity to connect, communicate and strengthen the bond with our children. Contrary to popular belief, our tweens/teens actually want and need our time and attention, and what we say and do deeply influences their present and future choices and behaviors.
So before the summer break gets away from us, and it’s back to the non-stop action that the school year brings, let’s connect!
• Create a Family Summer Bucket List: Sit down with your children to come up with
some activities they would like to do as a family this summer. It can be as simple as
taking a family bike ride or heading to the movies together, or something that
requires a little more planning like a weekend camping trip or heading out of town to
catch a sporting event.
• Include Their Friends in the Fun: Summer is a great time to get to know your
children’s friends. Arrange to take a group of them to an amusement park or a
summer concert of their choice. Even if they head off in a different direction once you
arrive, you’ll have that precious time during the car ride there – talk and listen to your
captive audience!
• Additional Summer Activities for Parent/Child Togetherness: Pack a picnic and head
to the park, grab some popcorn and enjoy an outdoor movie, choose a book for a
family reading club, create a fun meal together, host a cookout with friends, take a
canoe or boating adventure, go for a long walk, hike, volunteer at your favorite
charity organization, plant a family garden, take a how-to class, work on a home
improvement project, help a neighbor.
The possibilities are endless. Whether you choose a cooking class or a long stroll through the neighborhood, the important piece is that you are giving your child what they critically need to navigate successfully through the teen years, YOU. Enjoy the summer together.
Source: The Drug Free Action Alliance and The Fountain Magazine: Parenting Styles and How They Affect Children, 2001.
